One thing I know for sure
Is that the last time I will
With our old pet name
Is the first time
I will let my heart
Because these two letters
That always go along
Were the only things
That keep my bliss
Of saying your name,
Of seeing your messages
Out of your sight.
I feel like I can’t do anything right, like I’m slipping away from the important things. I wanted to be in this situation but it’s like I haven’t took time to prepare for it.
I don’t want to think about it but uugghh I just need to get this out of my head.
Last night while we were at the church, I saw your face in another person’s body. I was sure it was you I saw, although I know this is just an illusion - a made-up image of you. I thought I have forgotten your face, but last night those memories I had with you were still vivid as they flashed back through my mind; and I cried a lot - telling Him to wave you hello when you pass by. This is somewhat weird but I’m happy I saw you. It was a long time, really.
I always miss you, chessmaster. We always do.
It’s like driving on a smooth road and suddenly you didn’t notice the bump,
or that moment of craving for your favorite drink and it suddenly sold out. It was that very certain day when you bought yourself a souvenir for a job well done at work, then you got yourself into the sinkhole.
Life is really a mess, but this is just a phase. I’ll get by… soon.